I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
