I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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