she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
