FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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