You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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