hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
