i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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