I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
