Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize