I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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