dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've blown a few things in my day
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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