You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
