your thong is hanging out like whoa
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
