When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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