So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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