I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
