I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
