ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
