Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
