we're chasing vodka with high fives
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
