just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
