playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
