i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
