I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
