I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize