Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Two words: blizzard sex
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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