We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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