I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
