Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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