Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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