totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
