Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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