In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
