pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize