If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
