you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
