is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
