what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
love makes seman taste better
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
