sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
