You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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