i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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