so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please come you make the beer taste better
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize