So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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