I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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