tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
farters have to be the big spoon...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we're so committed to being not committed
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
