Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
