If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
