please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
ttyl tear gas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
