Im at strip club and am horny
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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