"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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