You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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