I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
