then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
