is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
