Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
