lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
did you just send me my own nude
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
