you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
time to smoke my breakfast
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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