you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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