I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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